Classical Art Enthusiast Gifts

'I was young I needed the money . .. '

'You're going to have to give up painting ceilings, Michelangelo !'

Rodin's Stinker

Poussin - Dance to the Music of Time

"Here! Let me get you all in!"

Creation of Adam

A grecian urn depicting three men slipping on a banana peel

"When you've finished, could you do another for me?"

Ancient Roman portrait bust explains to nearby statue why he is missing his nose: 'Yes, I know everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose. It's just that most weren't as SERIOUS as mine!'

Rodin & condom.

'You should see what they're getting up to round this side!'

Master Artists' Computer Graphics: Michelangelo's 'God's Creation of the Adam Computer.'

"How much can you head-bench press?"

"Throw it, throw it!"

I could do THAT Art

You're my Mona Lisa.

The DaVinci Code

"Mr. Right!"

The Selfie

"We met through the personals. We both were seeking someone 'Rubenesque'."

Raphael

Adam puts God on hold while texting.

"Did Melina Mercouri ever get those marbles back to Greece?"

"A wise choice sir! Aah. . . Da Vinci - a genius of the Renaissance and a man who changed the face of art forever! Would you like that as a bookmark, a pencil sharpener or a fridge magnet. . . ?"

Et in Arcadia Ego

Diego Velasquez

The Death Of Venus

"I thought I'd add a punch line."

Berta screams out!

'What really annoys me is that they're not even my demons - they're Goya's and Hieronymus Bosch's and Brueghel's.'

Football Sculpture.

American Gothic Selfie

The statue of Apollo takes a selfie with the Venus de Milo.

"Have you give any thought to my suggestion about a sculpture that's just a chubby kid constantly peeing."

Thinker, but not too deep: 'I wonder what's on TV tonight?'