Classical Art Appreciator Pillows

"Kiss me. I'm Claude Monet."

Old ladies trying to remove fig leaf from statue.

The DaVinci Code

"Mr. Right!"

"We met through the personals. We both were seeking someone 'Rubenesque'."

"Just when you're about to lose faith in humanity, you see Shakespeare in the Park."

Et in Arcadia Ego

"A wise choice sir! Aah. . . Da Vinci - a genius of the Renaissance and a man who changed the face of art forever! Would you like that as a bookmark, a pencil sharpener or a fridge magnet. . . ?"

"Wait, has thou brought snacks?"

Diego Velasquez

Guide reading book called 'A farewell to arms.'

The Death Of Venus

"Did Melina Mercouri ever get those marbles back to Greece?"

Berta screams out!

"I thought I'd add a punch line."

Master Artists' Computer Graphics: Michelangelo's 'God's Creation of the Adam Computer.'

"I like it, honey ... it speaks to what a waste of time your MFA was."

'What really annoys me is that they're not even my demons - they're Goya's and Hieronymus Bosch's and Brueghel's.'

'I saw an offbeat play the other night. No one took off their clothes.'

"Have you give any thought to my suggestion about a sculpture that's just a chubby kid constantly peeing."

The statue of Apollo takes a selfie with the Venus de Milo.

Thinker, but not too deep: 'I wonder what's on TV tonight?'

Football Sculpture.

"Here! Let me get you all in!"

"Why, Giambattista Tiepolo, you old so-and-so! Who knew you could paint?"

'You're going to have to give up painting ceilings, Michelangelo !'

"Ideally, I'm looking for a guy who can make me smile."

"The Ceiling is slightly wider than I'd planned."

"You know what, let's go with the pearl earring."

"It's Shakespeare, Mother - please do't keep moaning 'Oh get on with it'!"

Analysis of Beauty - Plate I.

Woodpecker carves David out of tree.

Visuals by Frans Hals.