Classic Narratives Lover Gifts

'Take no notice, he was raided by wolves.'

'Br'er Fox said 'I'm going to throw you into the briar patch'...And Br'er Rabbit said, 'Please,please don't taser me!''

'Yes, all at once!'

Don Quixote

Falstaff

"Only one pailful? Did they have water restrictions like we do?"

'Ignore it! It's just some of the local kids trying to get in for free.'

Alice Through the Looking Glass - Alice Climbs Through The Mirror.

'Come on Jill, they say the water's well good.'

"If she thinks I'm just gonna come running on home, wagging my tail behind me..."

Alice in Wonderland: Alice and the Dodo.

"Me Tarzan. You CGI."

Alice in Wonderland - The Pig Baby.

'Not only didn't he turn into a prince, but he gave me these awful warts!'

William Tell

Mom dwarves.

(Mother Goose: playboy's Mirthful Master of the Macabre serves Up Some Strange Twists On a Clutch of Children's Classics.) "Is this supposed to be somebody's idea of a joke?"

"I'm taking you off sleeping pills and putting you on Proust."

'Gretel, she's lying. It's not gluten free!'

"Long Johns Silver."

'Tarzan of the Kangaroos'

"CBD… oil… CBD… oil…"

"The forest has been cleared, Little Red Riding Hood has gone because her grandma is now buying her stuff online and you're asking me why I started drinking? Seriously?"

"Well, I just experienced my first misophoia trigger."

Updated Fairy Tales Cinderella. My lawyers won't let me do glass slippers anymore --- Too many liability issues.

"No, let down your hair!"

'Mirror mirror on the wall who's the fairest one of all considering her age?'

Frank and Ernest Updated Fairy Tales. Do you mean fair like "pretty" or fair like "evenhanded"?

David Anderson vs. Goliath

Goldilocks reads note from three bears: Gone for a walk in the woods. Your porridge is on the table.

'....And that wont wake me either.'

'I know how you can get him to notice you.'

Peter

"Sara, we think you have a Dostoyevsky problem."

'Mr. Scrooge, I think we should talk a bit more about this dream you had...'