Classic Horror Gifts

I think you've been watching too much baseball, Dr. Frankenstein.

"Beastly sorry about all these interruptions."

"So, how's that abnormal brain working out?"

'Time for a break, Igor - I've been grafting for hours.'

'YOU try shaving without a reflection sometime!'

'I think you should know I've had some work done.'

"All I know is that we got him on monster.job and he's been our best employee!"

Giant slug attacks a city

"Well, that's done! Now all we need to do is build a dog!"

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

Meet Stephen Krkzk Author of 'Why Conspiracy Theories Are Nonsense'

Love at First Sight

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

"So, what brings you in today, Mr. Brooks? High anxiety again?"

Edgar Allen Poe

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

King Kong uses fly spray against the pesky planes on top of the Empire State Building

"Remember that time you tried to kill me?"

"Are your eel rolls electric?"

"...and the humans turned Neville into 80,000 toothpicks..."

'... And this is my cellar.'

Night of the Latkes

Unfinished painting of a monster in a lake sits beside the lake with no painter in sight

Silence of the Chickens...

"What are you looking at, four eyes?"

One vampire tricks another behind a mirror.

Night of the Zombonies.

"Why am I always the designated driver?!"

Chiller Theatre

"It turns out crows find a bunch of dead crows more frightening than a man made out of hay."

Dead Funny

Frankenstein working at a hot dog stand.

'Well,he certainly has his father's nose!'

"I don't know what else we can do. He won't look up from the screen!"