Class-conscious Traveler Gifts

Fear of flying economy class.

"First class, or with children?"

'I want to visit the very EDGE of civilisation, to explore the BRUTAL shores of natures most REMOTE regions. If you could manage that with a five star hotel and first class travel it would be perfect.'

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

'Can I ask you what you've had to eat this morning, Sir? . . .Have you evacuated your bowels since then? . . . I'm afraid I'll have to charge you for the additional weight.'

"Everybody comfortable? Got what they want? Know their place?"

"We're at the Grand Marina Hotel in Barcelona. Some sheepdog you turned out to be."

"One day he went for a swim in our infinity pool, and I haven't seen him since."

'It's very exclusive - if you bump into a celebrity you get a full refund.'

'And upon landing the pilot will give everyone in first class a hug.'

'You know, if we had a bed and breakfast, we could use it ourselves!'

"This patient must be really rich! He brought back the most extravagant illnesses from exotic holiday spots."

Commuter on the Orient Express

"I know all about the rising costs of rent, utilities and food. I was thinking about it on the company jet on the way to my holiday house on the Cote D'Azur, but I'm afraid the company is under too much financial pressure to give you a raise."

"This is the life -- I'm never travelling Economy again!"

Street: The Magazine for Homeless People

'Can't I just travel on my learjet and have fun on my yacht and quit the stupid, boring political part of my presidency?'

'Tomorrow morning I would like breakfast in bed.'

Private Jet

People Holidaying in the Highlands

"The planet appears to be inhabitable but more like low-income inhabitable."

Private Jet

"Do you ever have days when you just don't feel like designing jewelry?"

'Well, you did insist that our travel agent find the cheapest tickets to Hawaii.'

"Who'da thunk guys like us would ever have found ourselves looking forward to Social Security like this?"

'Then put me on the No-Fly list if you can't put me in first class!'

Stretch-Camel.

Beggar with on the street with a sign

Woman having tea in a train carriage

Noah directs animals aboard the ark featuring first class and tourist sections.

The suite hereafter.

'Yes, I can park it...but the gratuity just went up.'