Clairvoyant Canine Companion Gifts

"I can only tell you what's in your future - it's up to you to chase it."

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

"You are going to have lots of puppies."

"I guess people want dogs with no problems. Lucky for me, all I've got is quirks."

"Shhh - he's trying open his third nostril."

'He says he's tried sending you tweets but his cell phones keep melting.'

"He's sending an instant message."

"Is your regret that there were three of them or that they were blind?"

Big Medium

"I'm looking for a book on ESP..." "I know..."

'The mist is clearing.'

The grim reaper (of humans) and the angel of death (for dogs) are foreshadowing the imminent death of a man and his doh.

"I see a wild celebration...I see music, dancing, much food and revelry! . . . I see - oops!! Sorry....wrong party."

"Better than a hunting dog - she sniffs out wifi hotspots."

Dyslexic Palm Reading

Ken wandered home wondering what the lunar new year would bring. . . like every other man and his dog.

Identical twins, separated at birth. Both like to...chase cars, take naps, fetch sticks, bark, sit on furniture.

"I bark, therefore I am."

Crystal balls: 'We have three new models to choose from: Scam, Swindle and Extort.'

'You just had to start digging, didn't you?!'

'Now might be a good time to tell your wife where you keep your insurance policies.'

Meditation for dogs

Woman's dog has escaped into a mousehole.

"Bad news - you're going to be neutered."

'My ringtone is a real attention getter. It sounds like a squeaky toy.'

'You meet Mister Right, house prices are down - Oops! I've got it upside down again!'

'!!X@#!! Reincarnation!'

'In one hour you will meet a tall, handsome man, who will wonder why dinner isn't ready.'

"Where do you see me in five years?"

Psychic Convention

"You're second sighted."

Psychic knew woman was coming.

'You're going to get chicken pox. . .!'