Civilization Detective T-Shirts

"They grow up so fast."

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

CIA report

'You can come down a peg. Mesopotamia gave the world bureaucracy, you know.'

Harry S. Truman

'Look! There's a Zyzzkzkk!'

Stratigraphy

Frankenstein's Ancestry

The Ukraine, Europe and Fascism.

Abacus.

'It was fun to make bujt don't see any possible use for it in the future.'

Celebrity Phrenologist.

'Oh I don't mind you turning over my cups to look at the mark. But next time, please finish your tea.'

Newton's Law and Order.

Micro and Macro Department,

Don't forget to read the small print.

"Your curriculum vitae is extremely detailed, isn't it? I don't quite know what to make of the fact that your third-grade teacher, Miss Hartley, made you stand in the corner for throwing an eraser although another kid did it."

Oil in Nigeria.

"Now we're leaving the hall of stuff we stole from other cultures and entering the hall of stuff we paid too much for."

'Don't mind me....I'll just sit here while you work on homeland security, unemployment, health care and your many other prbblems!'

"You say in your resume that you're very meticulous."

Devil in the detail

"It's five post meridiem in Central Europe. Compliled form the major networks the news is next."

"I just audited our books. Your register came up five cents short, Rudy."

History Department: 'I used to be a revisionist myself, you know!'

"Where would we BE without the right DOCUMENTATION...?"

When you said you were going to find your ancestors I thought you meant on the INTERNET!

'Son, history is important because it's the story of our past that we rewrite to understand our present.'

"Hmm interesting Hallmark..."

'Talk about paranoid. He reads the fine print on his money.'

'Sodding Sat Nav.'