Civilization Detective Gifts

Well, here's another ancient civilization that didn't get its security deposit back.

"They grow up so fast."

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

CIA report

'You can come down a peg. Mesopotamia gave the world bureaucracy, you know.'

Harry S. Truman

'Look! There's a Zyzzkzkk!'

Stratigraphy

Frankenstein's Ancestry

Sadie, I just heard something disturbing, and I think you're the only one who can tell me whether it's true. Youtube is telling me we've lived 300 years of phantom time. Pope Gregory XIII's math was off when he created our calendar, and this is actually the year 1717. What's more, the "Middle Ages" is just a fiction the pope created to explain his rounding error. You were there, Sadie ... Did King Arthur really exist? I'll tell you all about that nice boy, as soon as I demonstrate how we dealt w

The Ukraine, Europe and Fascism.

Celebrity Phrenologist.

Abacus.

'It was fun to make bujt don't see any possible use for it in the future.'

This will really mess with their minds someday.

'Oh I don't mind you turning over my cups to look at the mark. But next time, please finish your tea.'

Newton's Law and Order.

Authorization for the Use of Farce

Micro and Macro Department,

"Your curriculum vitae is extremely detailed, isn't it? I don't quite know what to make of the fact that your third-grade teacher, Miss Hartley, made you stand in the corner for throwing an eraser although another kid did it."

Don't forget to read the small print.

Oil in Nigeria.

"Now we're leaving the hall of stuff we stole from other cultures and entering the hall of stuff we paid too much for."

Russian Spy Debriefing

'Don't mind me....I'll just sit here while you work on homeland security, unemployment, health care and your many other prbblems!'

"You say in your resume that you're very meticulous."

History Department: 'I used to be a revisionist myself, you know!'

"It's five post meridiem in Central Europe. Compliled form the major networks the news is next."

"I just audited our books. Your register came up five cents short, Rudy."

Devil in the detail

"Where would we BE without the right DOCUMENTATION...?"

'Son, history is important because it's the story of our past that we rewrite to understand our present.'

When you said you were going to find your ancestors I thought you meant on the INTERNET!

"Hmm interesting Hallmark..."

'Sodding Sat Nav.'