Modern Culture Detective Gifts

"Keep your eyes open for one of those little stores that don't exist anymore."

Elfie Stick

Dawing your Cellphone

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

Wasting away again in Cappuccinoville.

Selfie Stick

'Are you sure this is authentic ancient Indian art?'

Final words on gravestones.

'Lateral hires are always told we do things differently here.'

"Don't forget to rate us on stable-BnB."

Jerry's 'culture-vulture' persona was plunged into jeopardy when he mistook a light switch for a modern art installation.

Art Plagiarism

You won't believe what happens in circle 6!! Dante's Inferno updated.

Book Worm

"Communion at the contemporary service is scones and coffee."

"You have an air of Camille Paglia about you."

Modern Portrait Gallery

"Congratulations, dude, and you may now play tonsil hockey with the bride."

'Daddy, why is that man wearing a blank T-shirt?'

"I find if I say we're having hashtag broccoli or hastag brussel sprouts, they are more apt to eat them."

"Daddy says God created Eve out of Adam´s spare credit card!"

I spy with my little eye in the sky …

"I may not know art, but I know what I like."

'Dang it! The gals out here leave little to a feller's imagination.'

'What the hell is this the age of?'

"I want you to meet these guys-they've got the hottest new stupid thing on the Internet."

'Okay, now I'm hoping he's right...'

"May I air-quote you?"

Today, it's chic to be cheap.

"Have you noticed how blatant sex is everywhere in the culture but here?"

"A messenger from the West Side, Your Highness."

'And according to a new poll, baseball and apple pie have now been replaced by facebook and taco bell.'

'I can't do it anymore. 54 months of analysis and we're still no closer to explaining why Christian Bale's Batman talk in that awful voice.'

Expanding Minds

"It's unbelievable to get kicked out of paradise because of one lousy apple... But wait, I'll give you a really bad rating for that, buddy!"