Modern Culture Detective T-Shirts

"Keep your eyes open for one of those little stores that don't exist anymore."

Elfie Stick

Dawing your Cellphone

'Are you sure this is authentic ancient Indian art?'

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

Wasting away again in Cappuccinoville.

Selfie Stick

Final words on gravestones.

Jerry's 'culture-vulture' persona was plunged into jeopardy when he mistook a light switch for a modern art installation.

"Don't forget to rate us on stable-BnB."

'Lateral hires are always told we do things differently here.'

Art Plagiarism

Modern Portrait Gallery

"You have an air of Camille Paglia about you."

"Communion at the contemporary service is scones and coffee."

Book Worm

"Congratulations, dude, and you may now play tonsil hockey with the bride."

'Daddy, why is that man wearing a blank T-shirt?'

'What the hell is this the age of?'

"Daddy says God created Eve out of Adam´s spare credit card!"

"I find if I say we're having hashtag broccoli or hastag brussel sprouts, they are more apt to eat them."

'Dang it! The gals out here leave little to a feller's imagination.'

"I want you to meet these guys-they've got the hottest new stupid thing on the Internet."

"I may not know art, but I know what I like."

'Okay, now I'm hoping he's right...'

Today, it's chic to be cheap.

'I'm not sure that a more ethnically aware Pope is the right way to go.'

"It's unbelievable to get kicked out of paradise because of one lousy apple... But wait, I'll give you a really bad rating for that, buddy!"

"May I air-quote you?"

"Have you noticed how blatant sex is everywhere in the culture but here?"

"A messenger from the West Side, Your Highness."