American History Detective T-Shirts

Robert E Lee

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

CIA report

Harry S. Truman

'Look! There's a Zyzzkzkk!'

"...We've traced your lineage all the way back to a 15th-century East European Count."

Sadie, I just heard something disturbing, and I think you're the only one who can tell me whether it's true. Youtube is telling me we've lived 300 years of phantom time. Pope Gregory XIII's math was off when he created our calendar, and this is actually the year 1717. What's more, the "Middle Ages" is just a fiction the pope created to explain his rounding error. You were there, Sadie ... Did King Arthur really exist? I'll tell you all about that nice boy, as soon as I demonstrate how we dealt w

Frankenstein's Ancestry

The Ukraine, Europe and Fascism.

Museum. Children love the Tyrannosaurus exhibit. Of course! T. Rex are for kids! (Published originally on Oct. 1, 2014.)

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

Celebrity Phrenologist.

Authorization for the Use of Farce

'Oh I don't mind you turning over my cups to look at the mark. But next time, please finish your tea.'

'We're sure they're in there... but we're not certain if they have weapons of mass destruction.'

"Now we're leaving the hall of stuff we stole from other cultures and entering the hall of stuff we paid too much for."

'I'm tracing my relatives.'

'At a guess I'd say it's one of the lesser Pharoahs.'

'Newgate - Exercise Yard'

'Don't mind me....I'll just sit here while you work on homeland security, unemployment, health care and your many other prbblems!'

"It's five post meridiem in Central Europe. Compliled form the major networks the news is next."

Russian Spy Debriefing

"Let me through... I’m an armchair detective!"

History Department: 'I used to be a revisionist myself, you know!'

Evo-Tourists

'Dad, have you ever thought about researching our family tree?'

When you said you were going to find your ancestors I thought you meant on the INTERNET!

'Son, history is important because it's the story of our past that we rewrite to understand our present.'

'How do you expect me to concentrate when you're reading me my rights?'

Ukraine Chasm

'Sodding Sat Nav.'

'No, not Cro-Magnon - something about it makes me think it's Neanderthal.'

'Okay, just be patient -- it could be months before they learn to obey all of these.'

The Oil of Iran

Mystery section...