City Street Cruiser T-Shirts

'No road rage, next 1/4 mile'

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

Man is caught swimming on an inflable float in a moat by the knights.

'Do you know the way to San Jose without breaking into a Bacharach number?'

The Slug Replaces the Cheetah as the Fastest Animal on Earth.

Mountain bikes and molehill bikes.

'It's St Patrick's Day...I thought you called this car your lucky charm??!'

French Early Bird

'I was just beginning to think about my portfolio. Now you're telling me to rethink it.'

"Balance is essential, Ray. For example, this week, my life is purpost-driven, and I'll follow that with seven days of aimless drifting!"

Spinner luggage is fast becoming the city walker's, walking companion of choice. There's no stopping, no mess, nor butt sniffing, with the added bonus that it comes with you when you go on holidays. . ."

"I'm looking for a car with backseat performance."

Extreme skier flies through cloud.

"I'd rather be at the office."

"Bangin’ rims. Sears?"

'I realize you love my boat, but you've been on it for nearly a month now. Do me a favor and go home.'

"Over the river and through a ridiculous detour that has us in the middle of who-knows-where, to Grandfather’s house we go!"

Playboy has rigged his car with a loveseat

'My wife insisted I stop and ask someone for directions. Could you just pretend you're giving them to me?'

Sports car.

"I'd better get a hit country song out of growing up this way."

Now Entering Wyoming (or one of those other rectangular states that are out west someplace).

Mount Rushmore waves back to tourists.

'It's very nice, but it's not really me. Do you have any of those little round, hollow, plastic balls?'

Street musician enterprises.

Employee Parking. The only way my boss practices "top-down" management is by driving a convertible.

Mildred takes a shortcut to the shops. . .

Slow, merge left, resume speed, stop, stay, sit, roll over, good boy!

Man passes a storefront that reads "Napland - Tired? Come on in and lie down for awhile!"

'Top dog or not, you gotta slow down.'

Heart of America or Bypass

"With my handicap I can park just about anywhere I want to!"

'University tenure, now there's a sweet gig.'

'Stop complaining. We can't afford a car with airbags.'

Caution: Stuff and things next 4 miles