Citation Ninja Gifts

"How do you do endnotes for stuff you just know."

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

"Ok, do we agree the minutes of the last meeting?"

'Being the boss's yes-man used to be easier. Now you also have to 'like' him on facebook, follow him on Twitter, link with him on linked-in...'

Go team!

'No! Forging a note from your parents does not count as creative writing!'

"Various entrances to the gates of Hell."

Trade Show Sherpas

"Has the Wi-Fi seemed slow to you lately?"

Piano Keyboard

"I don't think the guy with the business-card cannon has ever been to an actual networking event,"

'Impressive resume, We'll verify it through Facebook, Twitter and Tumblr and get back to you,'

Your computer has every alert, alarm and reminder possible...enough with the sticky notes!!!

'Remember, Henson; we're not here to hobnob - we're here to schmooze.'

Building business relations.

"New studies show that the so-called 'lucky man' made popular by the prog-rock band Emerson, Lake and Palmer was, in fact, just very well-connected."

"Thanks for considering me for the job as head of cybersecurity, but I already hacked into your network and gave myself the job."

The Card Flinger

Good Luck!

'All right, I wanna know which one of you really like me and which ones are just networking...'

Freedom of the press

"Oh, go on Jeffrey. . . Give him an order!"

'An application won't be necessary, Sir. . . if you did it, we know about it.'

At the printers - "Business is booming I need 6 more business cards, ASAP."

Over enthusiastic headhunter

'Yes, your papers seem to have lots of citations, but I've checked: They're all self-citations...'

While you were out... the whole office talked about you.

Bob tried networking – and crashed it.

The Communicator

"Does 14 followers on Twitter count as 'leadership experience'?"

'He knows where the viruses are buried.'

"I hear you've got friends in high places...?"

"I'm going to be vacuuming, if you want to go into the farthest room and start asking me questions."