Circus Satirist Gifts

'More specifically I have a fear of clowns that own fast food franchises.'

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."

"If we can just get beyond this 'I'm the boss' mentality and concentrate on a simple 'What I say goes' outlook, I think this will all work out."

"That report on corporate redundancy... I'd like it in triplicate."

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

Sign - Halt manager crossing

'We haven't improved quality, but we've made it easier to return.'

"Who gave you permission to ask for a raise?"

"That arrow always goes to the bottom when I walk by."

'Blast it, Peterson -- What's this I hear about you letting our profits trickle down?'

"Perhaps this slide whistle can better illustrate what this graph is telling us."

"Does anyone know where we keep the unwritten rules?"

Businessman sees door sign 'Department of Mismanagement and Overbudget'.

'Inevitably, I come to work early, leave late and alienate everyone.'

"My biggest weakness? I'm a perfectionist."

"Repeat after me: We are delivering the proactive core value promises and rolling out our real time best practice action plan going forward ..."

"I suppose you want the rest of the day off!"

Businessman: 'We're like one big family here, because of all the nepotism.'

"They found a use for that old paper shredder."

Clown Face Painting

"We should have taken the cubicles."

'And from what we've been able to determine, this is the tweak that broke the paradigm's back.'

Sales chart plummets into employees head.

'A High-pain job? Yes, I believe we have that.'

"I'm looking for a 'yes man' who can say 'no' without sounding negative"

Suggestions box in a toilet.

"Do you think we should look again at who we invite to these meetings?"

'I'm sorry, Henderson - But profits are down and we have to make sacrifices.'

The role of administration.

"I see the downsizing continues."

"I thought it would be appropriate to have a band playing as we went down."

'If we hadn't outsourced the staff, we could've eaten them.'

'This is just an informal pledge that we all go through.'

'I hope that training aid doesn't give him the idea that bigger laptops could mean more output.'