Circus And Wildlife Satire Lover Gifts

'Something tells me Attenborough and his crew have been at it again!'

"I'd kill for a fresh fruit fritter."

"The raw material was all around me: That's how I got started as a sculptor..."

'Humans do it, why couldn't we? Instead of chasing food, we could breed it: It's all explained in my report...'

"Everything looks real good...except these long gaps in your work history every winter."

"I hate hibernating! All our devices need updating. And now we need to go through a thousand phone and text messages."

'Hold on, he's back again.'

"I think it stands for, 'Please Eat the Activist,' which is exactly what I did!"

Professor Philips finally settles the debate on bears lavatorial habits,

Even with record Antarctic sea ice, nature finds ways to survive....

"Fake."

"I heard this dumpster got a bad review, but we'll try it out anyhow."

'Well, yes, I guess so; the Warmington AR-20 could drop a man at 500 metres.'

"No way I'm going to curtsy! This "King of the Jungle" business has really gone to your head, hasn't it?!"

The Beaver Viper, found mainly in Canada, stuns its prey with a barrage of probing questions and devours the hapless beaver mid thought.

I see you share my hatred for hamsters..

Last Call of the Wild

'The bears have monetized their brand.'

Bear in hotdog eating contest.

'I told you. I'll be home with dinner just as soon as it dies.'

'Hey Irma....food fight!'

scavenging snakes.

"Hey Vincent, I got a certified letter today. Apparently the birds have reported us stalking them and have taken out a restraining order against us."

"Yeah, I'm already 24 hours old, way past my physical peak: I need to find a mate quick..."

"Yeah, yeah. Everybody's got palms and opposable thumbs and the ass only has hooves... Get over yourselves, people!"

"Think about it, we work every day, we don't get paid, we don't get time off: How is it not slavery?"

Hyenas having a serious moment.

'...and stay out!'

Echo is not ready to say, 'I love you.'

'Oh, yes, Larry, we all know who's the Alpha male around here!'

A home where the buffalo roamed.

'Go on without me. . . I'm only slowing you down.'

'...And I say, the hell with natural selection and let's just eat the nice fat juicy ones.'

'Hey Fred! Go get into that centrifuge rotor and let's see that hawk really do a circle dance.'

The undisputed king of stepladder salesman.