Circular Reasoning Critic Gifts

'This isn't a BREAKTHROUGH, Colbert! This is a CIRCULAR REASONING! All you've done here is re-state our original objective.'

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

Opportunities in Coronatimes

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

Fear/Knowledge

"Technology isn't making me smarter. It's allowing me to be dumb, faster."

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

"Do you honestly believe we evolved from a single snow flake?"

'How can we believe anything when we can disprove everything?'

"If I 'HAD IT ALL' it would it be enough?"

"Cash, Jordan. That's what separates man from the apes."

Florida Governor, Rick Scott, cuts funding for rape victims.

Ducks and hares taken in by a wolf at a seance

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

"Strawman argument terrorises conversation... News at eleven."

'How do we SLEEP at night?'

"Hey...look...I'm prepared to admit that I might have been wrong, but...I think it's time to draw a line under it... and y'know...move on..."

Unanimous voting.

"Actually, yes, honey — I do believe 'Fox News' is an oxymoron."

Unemployed recession: the irony is killing me

"This just in: one of us always tells lies; the other always tells the truth. Who's who? Stay tuned."

"Do you think the flat earth society has members round the globe?"

Six Thinking Hats

'Son, voting isn't a rational procedure by which one strategically selects an electable candidate who will best serve your interests. Voting is an emotional response to your gut level fears!'

"I like his earlier work better, particularly the ones I said I didn't like at the time."

"I was a lot happier with the elephant in the room."

Admissions test for the Danbury Institute of Philosophy

"Try to get him away from that bloody whip...Pass it on."

"Moulting"

Apocalypse Research Center

"I'm torn, Randy. I don't know what to think." "About what, little buddy?" "Star Trek. The last movie got rave reviews. Critics and audiences loved it. Therefore, I loved it too. But it didn't come anywhere close to earning $1 billion at the box office. And these days, any movie that doesn't earn $1 billion is a complete failure. Therefore, I must hate it. I'm in limbo until the hive mind comes to a consensus." "Except for honey, nothing good ever comes from hives."

"That's hardly necessary!"

Sign that says 'This is not a sign.'