Cinema Connoisseur T-Shirts

"Friends don't let friends turn state's evidence."

'This is the worst film noir I've ever seen.'

Ennio Morricone RIP

"You see most of these trailers and you feel like you've seen the whole film."

Robert Denarii: 'You talin' to me.'

"Do you not think you're taking this home cinema a bit too seriously?"

Film Lovers.

"With romantic comedy, I like to recommend the sixteen ounce Raisinets."

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

"And here - take this Vin Diesel monologue with you!"

"It's hard to explain the movie. She takes her clothes off, then he takes his clothes off. They talk – it's politicized talk. Six months later they are in Budapest. He takes her clothes off, she takes his clothes off. Troops are marching outside."

'Popcorn-Soda-Hankies'

"You're beating him senseless, but what you really want is his approval."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

New and improved! BunkerBuster! Get out of the sand trap every single time - or your money back!!

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

King Kong uses fly spray against the pesky planes on top of the Empire State Building

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'Tony, you always try to lead.'

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

hard-boiled egg...

'He likes to power nap.'

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

'This should be perfect. The main characters fall in love during a series of explosions.'

Night of the Latkes

Farm Humor.

Gene Wilder as Willy Wonka

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

Happy Hour

The Trojan Beagle.