Noir Film Connoisseur T-Shirts

"Different strokes for different folks, O'Malley. Luca Brasi sleeps with the fishes."

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

hard-boiled egg...

"I've got a bad feeling about this."

'This is the worst film noir I've ever seen.'

The Philip Marlow family

'I don't care how you do it...just make it look like an accident.'

"The script isn't funny, but maybe if we put some unfunny actors in it and get an unfunny director it will be funny."

"It was Saturday night. The clock on my office wall showed the time to be eleven-forty-five. There are times when a private eye does not necessarily feel like being a private eye. This was one of those times. The elevator door down the hall clanked open with a clank familiar to anyone on the fourth floor who had had an office on the fourth floor for as long as I had had an office on the fourth floor. Footsteps came down the darkened hall and stopped outside my door. They were the footsteps of a

'You say it's a dramedy? We thought it was more of a coma.'

Film Lovers.

Time Machine Collision.

Jack Nicholson

"Damn it—I told them I was too well known for undercover work!"

"Aha Mr. Bond - you are in my power!....but instead of just killing you, I'll blether on and on about my plans for world domination so you have time to think of an ingenious way to escape my clutches..."

Cosa Nostradamus: "Listen, you mook. I predict if you don't pay the vig to the Don by tonight you'll be at the bottom of the Hudson by morning."

'Business was slow, slower than a fat tortoise with a limp. The phone hadn't rung for so long I thought it must be out of order. The new competition was good, very good. Who was this 'Google' guy?'

Robert Mitchum

"And here - take this Vin Diesel monologue with you!"

"Chills, Randy. I feel chills. And I can't move." "And I can't remember the last time my palms were this sweaty." "This must've been what people felt like when they heard the Allies were finally invading Normandy on D-Day." "No way any movie can live up to this hype." "Wolverine day is almost upon us." "We are about to embark upon the great crusade..."

'What will it be tonight? Gore and dismemberment, idiotic and foul-mouthed comedy aimed at fifteen-year-old boys, a macho revenge fantasy, or our special combo platter?'

"Marlowe filled the crooked gumshoe full of lead. He watched the smoke from his .38 coil in the air as he… mommy’s behind me, isn’t she?"

Al Pacino

Uneasy Rider

Diary of a DNA Cop

Peter Lorre caricature

Phantom of Casablanca

Noir kitty.

"It's a dame!"

"Now, see here, I've been wronged! Some no-good do-nothing rat pack got me sick, and I gotta know who!"

"Someday a real rain will come and wash all the scum off the street. But today, expect occasional sprinkles."

'Don Francesco, scusi... But while we were burying Luigi, some joggers ran into us... So we had to bury five corpses altogether...'

"Who, Big Sal? Sure, we were in cahoots years ago, but we fell out of cahoots."

"I have a few questions, Miss Haspel, about your fitness to serve as the director of the C.I.A."