Cigar Adventurer Gifts

'That's not a smoke signal. That's your father lighting up one of his cheap cigars.'

Come in, minion. What's up, boss? I'm writing a novel. It's a thriller about an intrepid caf

"Not only pharmaceuticals - we're also finding all sorts of industrial chemicals here."

Sir Winston Churchill

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

'Upon entering the rain forest...' 'Thousands of unknown species, and we can fool around with the genes of every one of them.'

'Everybody has to change to compete.'

'Missed again, eh, Bob? Maybe you should switch to decaf!'

'We don't want you poking around here any more!'

Tarzan of the Grapes.

A bear is sat on an armchair with old man slippers.

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

'The forest is so dark and gloomy: It's nice to reach the emergence and get a bit of sunshine...'

'Hey - my dad promised that I'd get a gun.'

Danger Slow Sand.

'Sorry, but I'm arresting you for being in possession of an endangered wild coho salmon.'

"I was going to tell you it's a jungle out there, but I realize that's probably old news to you."

Someone needs to tell him that having Churchillian leadership skills requires more than a 10'' havana

'Look what I've got, Dad - Can I keep it?'

"Smoke a cigar that fits your face."

Too much monkey business...

"Would you care to accessorize each other?"

"No more swinging from tree to tree! Now I take the bus and I even get a senior discount!"

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

"Karen's idea of wine reduction..."

'At first I wasn't going to join, but with a name like that, how could I resist?'

Today's lesson, the rainforest.

(I ride a harley, I drive a porsche, I smoke cigars, I drink martinis...) (So, ….You're impotent?)

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

'It's a penny slot--give me a hundred.'

'Mom, there's good news and bad news. The good news is the cat won't be scratching up the furniture anymore. The bad news is... well, um...'

'Well doctor that will be the Mabato Tree Snake.'

"Good heavens, Caruthers. It's the wife!"

Cigars for the Upcoming Bear Market

'What should we do? It's an endangered animal eating an endangered plant!'