Church Scandal Sleuth Gifts

"Father, I would like to go to confession with you!"

Squeezing the Free Press.

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

News and Magazines. Celebrity gossip. Sports scandals. Political bickering. We're out of the "information age" and well into the "too much information age"!

"He's the chief watchdog, who watches over all the other watchdogs—but this must be his night off."

"Ma, what does 'kosher' mean?"

'There's too much corruption in the third world.'

Money laundering - shows money flowing out of US vault.

'I won't be coming to church any more, Reverend -- I've decided to convert to golf.'

United Church of OMG

"So finally, the liarbird flew off to the lucrative world of tell-all books, management consultancy and after-dinner speaking..."

"That's nuthin'. Yesterday he beat up Alex Rodriguez."

Sunday 10 and 2: The Usual Superstitions.

JET (Part I)

"Hey Frank, any plans for after church?"

'I didn't know the church sold an extended warrenty on marriage?'

The Robert Mueller Rosetta Stone

'STREWTH! Our firewall is down!' (Rupert and James Murdoch cease to be shielded after Rebekah Brooks resigns)

Raid the law offices of Michael D. Cohen

'I hate it when EVERYONE is a whistle blower.'

"...I have the oddest 'earliest memory' and I wanted to share it. It's just as wekkm I guess. Knowing some man secretly attended my first birthday party has caused me to question my parentage all these years....Especially since Mother Park made me promise not to tell Father that the potted plant was acually J. Edgar Hoover."

The 1st annual pet baptism was also the last

"The wages of sin are ... pretty damn attractive."

Pandora Papers

"Please excuse our appearance while our records are being impounded."

Corrupt politicians,

'Harlow, do you wnat to be part of the problem or part of the coverup?'

Dateline - Caf

"And now, a few words about the feel-God factor"

Panama Papers Scandal

'From Wall Street, here's a run down of today's stock prices and S.E.C allegations.'

'That damn racial scandal.'

"Guess who's going to be on national television apologizing to the American public."

"...and, for those parishioners who insist on a Eucharist made with all organic, locally-sourced ingredients, see Father Maguire at aisle three."

Out for lunch... GOD