Church Outings Gifts

Mt. Moriah Church Senior Citizens

The Zoo.

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

"What sorcery be this? Thine castle is bouncy!"

"This is nice, but I can't help but think we forgot something."

"If oceans are absorbing more carbon dioxide, why isn't this water fizzy?"

Priest's 'To do' list.

Packed boats of families on a seaside holidays

'Due to the poor response to the roof repair fund we cannot afford to lift the rafters when rejoicing in song.'

Duck Hunt

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

"Mom probably wouldn't buy us one, but you have to learn to make your own choices, Dad."

Early Piety

Duke of Clarence (Later William IV) Promenading with Family

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

At the market

'Stop pulling that silly face, Dear.'

"Boy, that's what I call a maze."

'I think I'll take her to the zoo today.'

Teaching a Sunday school class didn't end the way John imagined.

"Whose idea was it to start with the Hallelujah chorus?"

'Can we sit in the balcony today? Huh? Can we?'

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

'I've got two tickets to Handel's Messiah -- What time do you get off work?'

Priest

'This is my kind of place. You knock bottles off a table with a baseball and get a prize instead of time-out!'

Waitress to church leader: 'It's your daily bread, Pastor. Remember? You ordered the prayer breakfast.'

"I told him we needed more string."

'I'm told you've been born again, again and again. . . ?'

"...and I, Pastor Smith...preaching to you now from this pulpit, speak to you from experience about the 'strong-willed' child...BELIEVE me!"

'Doorbell. Must be the sitter.'

'God's forgiveness of sins ... is that like a spiritual bailout program?'