Church Fair Gifts

"Can we discuss this?"

'Details of the summer fete can be found on our website. The address is on the notice board at the back of the church.'

Face painting.

Southwark Fair.

Tension filled the tent.

'Due to the poor response to the roof repair fund we cannot afford to lift the rafters when rejoicing in song.'

Bless me father, for I have sinned...my brother did it.'

'I sense that someone is about to swindle you.' 'Wow, thanks for the warning! How much do I owe you?'

"All I did this summer was go fishing, camping, bike riding, swimming, boating, and go the movies, carnivals, fairs, concerts and games. I'm bored."

I DATED A GUY FROM THE FAIR, BUT . . .

'You'll never believe this - they've found the actual body of Jesus!'

He avoids wrath, envy, lust, greed, gluttony and sloth -- the problem is he's proud of it!

Big Hank's shooting gallery.

Amusement Park Fun (Country Style).

Face painting by numbers.

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

'So it's with a heavy heart that I leave you good people of St. Paul's and accept the calling to be minister at the Sunnydell Nudist Colony...'

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

Lady about the cross: 'Now that all of us have trusted Christ, this is our family tree.'

"...and for today only, you'll get 10% off all tithing!"

Funnel of Love

"Reverend, I recommend you turn the other cheek."

'You're much better than my mom. You can hardly tell when she paints her face.'

'This is my kind of place. You knock bottles off a table with a baseball and get a prize instead of time-out!'

Clown Face Painting

"Freshly ground pepper?"

'Okay, on the count of three we fight back. One. . . Two. . .'

Dance of the Red (Papal) Shoes.

"Life is very fragile so we should handle it with 'prayer'."

"Call me 'pops' one more time and I'll lace 'ya one!"

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

"Are there any here today who feel this union is not in the best interests of baseball?"

We're willing to flee temptation, if we can leave a forwarding address.

"Trust me. Don't do it."

Face Painting.