Church Correspondent Pillows

'Still no Christmas card from the Pope? - We did send HIM once, didn't we?'

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

Press Freedom

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

The Current Separation of Church and State Explained.

Cleric with bible briefcase.

Clown Ministry Baptism Today

"Can the folks in the nose-bleed section hear me alright?!"

Michelangelo is painting the Sistine Chapel ceiling and a priest comes to check how he's going - 'Michelangelo, what the hell is that? I just wanted a couple of coats of duck-egg blue!'

"If anyone wants me, Ms. Clark, I'll be down in the youth department."

"Nice to see you replenishing the font with holy water vicar."

CCTV in church.

"It would be great if you could turn the smoke machine down a little during worship..."

'Seriously Vicar, I do not think you have seen this guy in the morning service!'

'I suppose that's where things get ironed out.'

'I think I've now earned the right to wear God on my sleeve.'

Nun Binning the Devil

"The whole neighborhood has an opinion on who the next pope should be."

'This whole Noah's Ark business sounds like a quota system to me!'

"I will answer anything but questions."

Crooked Hillary... Pig... Sad!... Not a Ten!...

'That's GRAVEN images, not GRAVY images.'

'Hello, Pastor Parker here. Thank you for calling moral support. Your call may be monitored to ... '

'Dad, if God rested on the seventh day, who milked the cows?'

"It's a cup holder."

People bell ringing - 'RING TONES'

"Hello. I'm here to install the new pastor."

'If you're a nun, where's your nunchucks?'

First Church - New Policy: To avoid lawsuits, Rev. Loomis' sermons no longer mention sinners by name.

ISIS needle in a haystack.

Office of the PR of the United States

'If the Lord had wanted us to use the metric system, there would have been ten apostles!'