Religion Reporter Pillows

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

Two Men Discuss Ministers.

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

"Ma, what does 'kosher' mean?"

"I think you refuse to admit your god condones slavery, because doing so would be an admission you are more moral than he is. And that conflicts with your Borg programming."

"...and if you add wind-chill factor, the next plague will be even worse!"

Tragically Moses didn't see the eleventh commandment.

'THAT'S the Holy Land? - You're kidding, right?'

Does Christianity have the monopoly on morality?

Worst. God. Ever.

Holy Roller Church: We accept all denominations, but we are especially fond of $20, $50, $100, & $500...

'Talking about Jesus is NOT name-dropping!'

Tickets being sold for the Fun House and the Religious Fundamentalist House,

"They're really more like a bucket list."

"I have to confess a sin, Preacher. I went premarital shopping."

'Fourteenth century church, fourteenth century views.'

'Still no Christmas card from the Pope? - We did send HIM once, didn't we?'

'Have your daily bread every other day.'

Man sees line of priests entering Mass Transit Authority.

"'A land of milk and honey'? - But I'm on a DIET!"

Priest to congregation, "I'm no different to you just because I wear a dog collar."

"Due to a breakdown in communication, 'Nilla Wafers' will be used for the communion service."

"And remember, if you need anything I'm available 24/6."

"Why did you become a crusader? You don't even go to church."

"Remember now, this is for your Birthday AND for Christmas!"

Today's Sermon: If you're unhappy with government intervention, try divine intervention.

"As a Christian, it's my job to love everyone. Especially people like you who don't deserve it."

Repent Ys Who Has Sinned Against ME!

"I think it means this is how they treat you 'In Rhode Island'."

Grassy Knoll Creationism: 'More potshots at evolution.'

Donald Trump's Commandments

"It's part of His new diversity program."

"Genesis" "*The King Gus Version"

"We're raising money for our church so our preacher can get a new luxury jet...!"