Religion Observer Pillows

'Oi, Jehovah! Your witnesses are here.'

Old Archbishop with zimmer like staff

Must have been rough being the only white kid in the Middle East.

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

Benedict & Associates: Communication Strategies, Lobbying. . .

'Is there an E-Reader Edition?'

"...and if you add wind-chill factor, the next plague will be even worse!"

Tragically Moses didn't see the eleventh commandment.

"Yes, but you were the defender of the wrong faith."

Man has a seatbelt and 'calm down tablets' to watch the world news.

'THAT'S the Holy Land? - You're kidding, right?'

Middleast Peace

'Psst, buddy -- Apocrypha!'

'Live together in peace!'

Religion & Economics.

"She cries when I give it to her, she cries when I take it away."

"I'm more of an 'I like to watch' dog."

"Just my luck."

'If it's all the same to you, we'd prefer not to get involved.'

Olympic Sabbath Torch.

'I admire your persistence, Melvin, but I'm in love with another woman.'

New Capitalism

Tickets being sold for the Fun House and the Religious Fundamentalist House,

"They're really more like a bucket list."

"I have to confess a sin, Preacher. I went premarital shopping."

The world on lockdown

Vicar losing his place in the sermon.

'Have your daily bread every other day.'

"Believe me, Alice, you didn't miss a thing. It wasn't even a party—it was a positioning event."

"I'm calling it 'Genesis.' It's part of a five-book contract."

Terrorism

'So what else can you do, besides reign?'

Don't get too close to Brother Jerome - he just baptized a Hun.