Church Bell Humor Lover Gifts

'You are still pulling a bit too hard, Mr. Dunn!'

'Holy-Kanoly' makes his infamous 'Leap-of-Faith' jump.

The new piece of the armor of God, "the facemask of fearlessness."

'Nice try, but Disneyland isn't a foreign mission.'

Finger puppets in church.

"Why do parishioners only eat half their donuts???" "Partial indulgence."

Church restrooms

'To avoid possible schism, a period of careful reflection is needed before changing the light-bulb.'

Cleaner playing pool with brush.

'Funny in my day they all looked like WInston Churchill.'

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

'But, apart from the pews, the sermon, the hymns, the coffee and, 'all that praying', you'd come again?'

Minister Starts at a New Church

'If you're a nun, where's your nunchucks?'

Excommunicate Me.

Holy Roller Church: We accept all denominations, but we are especially fond of $20, $50, $100, & $500...

Church Parking Space Reserved For Sinner Of The Week

'Now, where was I when the lectern collapsed?'

Eucharist

"Wake up! Brother Billy's finished praying."

'It's a devil to start on these damp November Sunday mornings - luckily we have a sidesman who works for the AA.'

"Can we discuss this?"

'I hate the new vicar's cheese and wine parties.'

Pastor wearing sunglasses against the hymns.

"No matter how badly you have sinned, you don't have to worry about losing your coverage!"

'The Bishop called - he'd like to see a copy of that sermon you gave last Sunday.'

"That vicar really knows how to put the fear of god into people."

"First, you have to get their attention."

'Today's sermon may seem a little incoherent -- my 'Preach-o-Mat' program crashed.'

Ding and Dong.

'Welcome to our first ever... Casual Sunday.'

"...and Lord, we thank You for blessing Farmer Finkel with an abundant bean harvest...and thus our new pews."

'Would you like seating in snoring or non-snoring?'

"Please rise."

Church sign.