Church And State Debater Gifts

"Sister Coney Barrett, the other sttlers wonder if maybe you misunderstood the basic concept?"

'The church says the Earth is flat, but I know that it is round for I have seen the shadow on the Moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the Church.'

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

'You'll never believe this - they've found the actual body of Jesus!'

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

'Are you sure You can be objective? -After all, You did CREATE them.'

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

"If everything is God's will, tell me again why I need to study for exams?"

"You atheists wouldn't exist without God!"

"You say we atheists are going to Hell? Look at all the f**ks we give... Go ahead... Look at them all."

A not-so-happy God, with the Humans, sticking an Eviction Notice to the Earth

Needless to say, God forgot the legs.

"Having completed the formation of the earth, on the seventh day the Lord rested. Then, on the eighth day, the Lord said, 'Let there be problems.' And there were problems."

'Just one God? - But won't he be outnumbered?'

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

"Instead of Red Team and Blue Team, why don't we make it Good v. Evil?"

Today's sermon: 'Do sin taxes violate the seperation of church & state?'

'I'm all tired out from creating - let's just use NATURAL selection from now on.'

Corruption trial in the Vatican

"This is a little embarrassing to admit, but everything that happens happens for no real reason."

'No, please, go on. It's so refreshing to talk to someone with an entirely different point of view.'

"I think you made your mistake right at the beginning!"

'So, I take it that diversity isn't a priority?'

Atheist Convention: 'I don't believe it!'

'I used to think I couldn't serve both God and Mammon, and then I discovered multitasking!'