Chronic Flirt Pillows

"I'd like to date you instead. When's your down time?"

'That girl speaks eighteen languages and she can't say 'no' in any of them!'

I only have eyes for you

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

"Wow, I just love the way you waddle!"

"I'm texting you a love poem inspired by the emoji you sent me."

"Call me, Ishmael."

'You had me at your first tweet..'

'I think the computer has a crush on me. It asked me to remain after class.'

"Must you sing, 'I'm in the mood for love' everytime you want sex?"

'...Would you like me to try out my Big Bang theory?'

"To be honest I'd rather make love not war, but my chat-up lines are terrible."

"Ask me anything you want about Water Cress!"

"The catch of the day, madame, is me!"

'I love it when you oink dirty to me...'

'As long as I stand here I'm safe. . . no stress. . . no pressure. . . no need to impress. . . I can just relax and be who I am. . .'

'I didn't know people still played footsie.'

"I was quite a successful writer once...what sort of books are you interested in?"

Love

Where's the last chapter? It's not finished yet. It's where the writer sleeps with the publisher after he agrees to publish her novel.

'So...your shelf or mine?...' (a book in a bar trying a pickup line)

"Would you like to come in and see my cave drawings?"

"I'm not looking for Mr.Right, Just Mr. Swipe-right!"

'Wow, someone's sent me a picture of my bum.'

"Hey, not bad! You sound like a real couple already!"

"Agnes is so crushing on him."

What a pear?

"When you're finished not looking at here, can you divert your non-attention to me?"

Photographs of Neville gave gals an itch they found difficult to scratch.

"Have you read any of Shakespeare's plays?"

"I'm the most pathetic man on earth."

'How could I have a girl in every port? I haven't been in every port.'

"You should only believe half of what I tell you."

"I know what's going on here - you just want to enrich my microbiome."

"Man cannot live on bread alone - he needs a bit of crumpet too."