Chromosome Captain Gifts

It's exhausting being a DNA molecule - there's so much to remember!

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

Captain in a storm

For some reason, "The Road Less Travelled" GPS package never really caught on...

Fishermen dread the spot where the lures hang heavy from the trees like Spanish moss.

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

'It's my company, I'll decide whether I want to go to the partner's meeting or not.'

'If we get out of this alive, I'm going to have a darn good look at your resume.'

"Sorry, Rick, but no thongs means no thongs."

'Well, it wasn't my lucky day... first there was that shark and then I bimped into a bunch of beaver!'

An old-time engineer enters the cockpit on a flight.

Welsh airport arrivals.

Captain looks out of a porthole and notices that the ship is sinking.

'I like to greet the new team members myself.'

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

I drive, therefore I am.

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

Woman as a beacon and guide of the family

'You'll be broadening up your horizons in a cubicle.'

"Awwwk! Mutiny is a go! Pass it on! Awwk!"

"The Captain really, really hates losing at shuffleboard."

It became increasingly difficult for the captain to reward his crew and still maintain his ferocious reputation.

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

Captain Ahab (Ret.)

"A storm rages from the East - tell the men to get below and snuggle up for movie night."

"Lost drone! Reward! Goes by the name of 'Phantom 3'."

Verbal Orders

What really happened on the EVER GIVEN

'Captain, there's someone pissing in the hold!'

"Ya know, that cork was there for a reason."

Solemn Reference is Made to Mr Bunsby

The crew can no longer tolerate Captain Bligh's ruthless splitting of infinitives."

"Get those decks cleaned you swabs!..."

'Well, we still think you're a naughty boy, running away to sea like that!'

"Wait...Did I Say 'North'?"