Christmas Wish List Pillows

'If that isn't a 18 speed bike, Charlie won't be very happy.'

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"I don't know why you always have to choose the same hide-and-go-seek hiding spot that I do, Tommy!"

'What do you do with the time you save?'

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

"That'll be five bucks."

Daughters on the beach

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

'If I told you what I wished for, you'd probably slap me.'

'I told you to invite a friend over.'

"It's a 'Black eye friday'. I got it in a fight over a 56 inch TV."

Priest

"I always end up buying way more black-truffle honey than I intended."

"I might just get a pie."

"No matter what, sleep when the bay sleeps."

A couple looks at posters of Rio, Paris and Tokyo, all of which feature skyscrapers.

"Not much in the way of loot, but we got a ton of store credit."

'We always like to give more bling for the buck.'

When Tia Carmen says... "It's time to eat healthy!" it means... "I'm only using one stick of butter instead of three."

'If executive bonuses are outlawed, only outlaws will have bonuses.'

"Ticket and passport, please."

Loopholes

'Hang on a minute...'

Mouse returns home from work.

'I had no idea there were so many types of dog treats.'

'It's the same EVERY year... 5 minutes to midnight; victims are all male, and they're carrying large sums of money.'

"Goodnight Tommy, sleeptight, watch the millenium bugs don't bite."

With all that Christmas baking left, that's a bad thing...(egg prices soar).

"Could you pass me up? I'm in row one."

Snake Charming

'Moses, you'd better be in that bathtub!!'

'After you ask him for the pony, ask him to pay for your college education.'

"I always know what Harry's going to say, and he always knows what I'm going to say, so, by and large, we just don't bother."

"Who's the new guy?"