Christmas List Maker Pillows

'What? -- You didn't get your letter to Santa notarized?'

'I'd say your caravan's a tad overloaded, sir.'

Airlines

Santa sits in front of computers with naughty data and nice data screens.

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

Santa Claus's wife beats the soot out of his beard.

-'but for a full English breakfast you can't beat Blackpool,sir.'

Mr. Punch in Venice

"I ask that today is a good day...a day that brings family together...to show how we need one another."

Italia tours

Heading off with a packed bag

"I'd like a partridge in a pear tree, 2 turtle doves, 3 French hens, 4 calling birds and 7 swans a swimming."

"What are you doing? It's Halloween. Not leaving your deliveries to the last minute this year?"

'You're reordering your priorities? -- Since when do you have priorities?'

'This one is a bit different - twelve Indian call centres in eight days.'

"Your top 10 list of reasons why you didn't do your homework is creative, but not acceptable."

"I'll be there in three 'All Too Well's."

Man on beach realizes laying down flattens his stomach

Excess Baggage: Sooner or later all those vacation bills come due.

"Could you help me fit nine days work into five and still see my family?"

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

Wizard of Oz - repeat fees

"I know it’s a challenge, but it needs your input!" "...Your breadth of knowledge of different interest groups, religions...cultures!" "Right, so the staff Christmas meal will be a traditional lacto-vegan one at a Thai restaurant sometime in March?" "Do you think the Pagans will be OK with that?"

'No, no, no. You guys are way off! This isn't even the cat. You guys are on the dog.'

'We must have everything... this is all that's left!'

A tourist struggling with loads of luggage

'Let it go, Amy.'

"We can't go. We don't have enough carbon offset credits to get to the Grand Canyon."

"Well, all I know is he left on vacation to unwind... and he never wound-up again!"

'I'm tired of sitting and staying.'

'Let's open presents Christmas Eve AND morning. That way Christmas lasts for TWO days.'