Christmas List Compiler Pillows

"Why the hell aren't you writing all this down?"

"I'd like a partridge in a pear tree, 2 turtle doves, 3 French hens, 4 calling birds and 7 swans a swimming."

"I love these old decorations!"

"What are you doing? It's Halloween. Not leaving your deliveries to the last minute this year?"

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

TV Interactive panto - Remote control buttons: Oh yes it is - Oh no it isn't.

'Santa is the delivery man, I'm the CEO. Do you know what a CEO is, Lisa?'

"At this rate I'll be delivering all gift certificates, gift cards and I.O.U.s!"

'The holidays are about to be thrust upon us, Edgar, are you prepared?'

"Welcome to the Bermudez family Christmas party!"

"Post-holiday dieting will be much easier this year. Our disposable cash flow will be diverted."

Santa Claus stuck in a chimney sitting in a hospital emergency room.

Santa using the stock exchange to keep track of stocks and bonds being good or bad as well as going up or down

Cut out and keep your own Baby Jesus.

Poinsettia

'My Christmas list-Chapter 1'

You are what you eat.

"I was good. Why is Santa punishing me?"

Text Santa

Theron Heir hands off the Rudy Park writing duties to long-time artist Darrin Bell. I'm scared. Rudy Park is my baby. I know what you mean. It must feel like the first time you had me babysit your kid. There were tears, maybe a small fire … I may have forgotten to change him … You mean my two kids. The point is, he survived. More or less.

Due to company cutbacks please only photocopy one buttock.

'They never let poor Rudolph join in any reindeer games!'

Keep your answers short and in the form of a question.

'After that 24 hour beer and fruit cake binge, you need a radical detox!'

Fallen Christmas Angel

"It's the best darn Santa we've had in years!"

'What? -- You didn't get your letter to Santa notarized?'

'Remember how proud we were to have our tree up much earlier this year?'

'It mightn't be HD, but it's Christmassy!'

"Which list do you want first, A-L or M-Z?"

"You know full well you didn't give me what I wanted last year so, this time - sign this promise!"

'You forgot to add the nog.'

"Every year I give my grandparents the same thing. . . a list of everything I want for Christmas."

"He's say's he's eaten 200,000,000 mince pies, drank 150,000,000 glasses of wine, eaten 300,000,000..."

'In order to improve customer service your presence will now be available for collection at the North Pole.'