Christmas List Compiler Pillows

"I'd like a partridge in a pear tree, 2 turtle doves, 3 French hens, 4 calling birds and 7 swans a swimming."

"I love these old decorations!"

"What are you doing? It's Halloween. Not leaving your deliveries to the last minute this year?"

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

TV Interactive panto - Remote control buttons: Oh yes it is - Oh no it isn't.

'Santa is the delivery man, I'm the CEO. Do you know what a CEO is, Lisa?'

"At this rate I'll be delivering all gift certificates, gift cards and I.O.U.s!"

'The holidays are about to be thrust upon us, Edgar, are you prepared?'

"Welcome to the Bermudez family Christmas party!"

"Post-holiday dieting will be much easier this year. Our disposable cash flow will be diverted."

Santa Claus stuck in a chimney sitting in a hospital emergency room.

Santa using the stock exchange to keep track of stocks and bonds being good or bad as well as going up or down

Poinsettia

'My Christmas list-Chapter 1'

Cut out and keep your own Baby Jesus.

"I was good. Why is Santa punishing me?"

You are what you eat.

Text Santa

Due to company cutbacks please only photocopy one buttock.

'They never let poor Rudolph join in any reindeer games!'

Keep your answers short and in the form of a question.

'After that 24 hour beer and fruit cake binge, you need a radical detox!'

Fallen Christmas Angel

'It mightn't be HD, but it's Christmassy!'

'Remember how proud we were to have our tree up much earlier this year?'

"It's the best darn Santa we've had in years!"

'What? -- You didn't get your letter to Santa notarized?'

'In order to improve customer service your presence will now be available for collection at the North Pole.'

"Every year I give my grandparents the same thing. . . a list of everything I want for Christmas."

"You know full well you didn't give me what I wanted last year so, this time - sign this promise!"

"Which list do you want first, A-L or M-Z?"

"He's say's he's eaten 200,000,000 mince pies, drank 150,000,000 glasses of wine, eaten 300,000,000..."

'You forgot to add the nog.'

"And we need some Christmas cards too. . . Get the ones made from recycled paper. . . no point wasting trees. . ."