Christmas Wishers Pillows

"What do I want for Christmas? Hell's bells! Didn't you get my letter?"

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

'If I told you what I wished for, you'd probably slap me.'

Priest

Reindeer

"What did you just say? Did you just say 'Christmas'?!!"

Santa uses his interviewing skills on his second job, too.

"I've got an office and I've got a window, but I wouldn't say I've got a window office."

'Dang.'

Wishing Well

Genie.

"In a Universe Light Years Away...Almost, son, but remember you have to light up all the people for your wish to come true."

"You want England to win what!? Put me back in the lamp!"

"Miss Robinson, do I need any wishes?"

Bank as a money tree

'Sorry I Ate the Cookies Last Year.'

"How can Santa eat all those cookies and drink all that milk in one night? Well, like everything else when it comes to Santa, it's magic. . ."

"If I had three wishes, my last wish would be to only have two wishes."

What do you wish for next year?

'I fixed it so we got the night off!'

Beggars on the street.

'There is no million dollar inheritance, just a lottery ticket for each of you.'

'computer says no.....el!'

"I haven't been good, but I have good as a goal."

"What did you think we do after the holidays?"

"Ever had one of those days where you don't feel the least bit jolly?"

"How much do you tip your genie?"

'On Dasher, on Dancer, on Prancer, and Vixen; On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen...wait, this can't be right.'

'Go to my facebook page for a list of the things I'd like. . .'

Christmas Eve Night

"Why is it you always head back to the well?" "Making a wish always makes me feel swell!"

Do you think Santa will be making a stop at Tiffany & Company tonight, Lance? Sorry to disappoint you, Gloria, but I spotted Santa's sleigh in the parking lot of Kmart & Company earlier.

"A better standard of living?... Can you be a bit more specific?"

"Okay, what's your second wish?"

'It's just that when I said 'I wish I was a babe magnet'...'