Christmas Wishers Pillows

"What do I want for Christmas? Hell's bells! Didn't you get my letter?"

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

'If I told you what I wished for, you'd probably slap me.'

Priest

Reindeer

"What did you just say? Did you just say 'Christmas'?!!"

Santa uses his interviewing skills on his second job, too.

"I've got an office and I've got a window, but I wouldn't say I've got a window office."

"Miss Robinson, do I need any wishes?"

'Dang.'

Genie.

Wishing Well

"You want England to win what!? Put me back in the lamp!"

"How can Santa eat all those cookies and drink all that milk in one night? Well, like everything else when it comes to Santa, it's magic. . ."

Bank as a money tree

"If I had three wishes, my last wish would be to only have two wishes."

Beggars on the street.

'I fixed it so we got the night off!'

What do you wish for next year?

'Sorry I Ate the Cookies Last Year.'

'computer says no.....el!'

'There is no million dollar inheritance, just a lottery ticket for each of you.'

"How much do you tip your genie?"

"Ever had one of those days where you don't feel the least bit jolly?"

"What did you think we do after the holidays?"

"I haven't been good, but I have good as a goal."

Christmas Eve Night

"Why is it you always head back to the well?" "Making a wish always makes me feel swell!"

'It's just that when I said 'I wish I was a babe magnet'...'

"A better standard of living?... Can you be a bit more specific?"

"Santa gets away with it because it shakes like a bowl full of jelly, not beer."