Christmas Tree Collector Gifts

Happy Holidays! Generic trees for sale!

Evil elves trying to take advantage of Christmas tree fairies.

"I love these old decorations!"

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

Christmas Hugs

"Do excuse me, I've got a nuttiness allergy."

'HO,HO,HO,WHY ARE YOU AFRAID OF SANTA CLAUS??!!'

'You can rely on Bryan to keep Christ in Christmas.'

The Big Tree

A sheep, a humming bird and a beetle - 'Baa, hum, bug'

Masky Christmas!

'One more thing -- My Dad says that if you bring me one more 'Alvin and the Chipmunks' tape, he'll rip off your beard and set fire to it.'

Johnny and Moloch

Free Chimney Cleaning.

'Cards don't send greetings, people send greetings.'

Carbon-Friendly Christmas Tree

It's the most wonderful time of the year...

"The Crandalls wish us a Merry Christmas, and add that they're now worth over two million."

'A Christmas card from the Hendersons! Did we send them one?' (wife to husband on desert island).

"It's October! I can't believe they already have Christmas comics."

"I have no idea why there has been zero company this year, but, hello, BEST holiday ever!"

"Now Dasher! Now Dancer! Now, Prancer and Vixen! On, Comet! On, Cupid! On ... Dunderhead and Blitzen!"

"Stop looking up my skirt you little creep!"

'Apparently the thieves were looking for the gold, frankincense and myrrh.'

'You just go out on the lot and mark the tree you want.'

Santa's Mask Problem

Bauble

"I really miss letters."

"It looks like your private pension isn't going to yield as much as we originally anticipated...I'm afraid you'll have to go on collecting nuts for years."

Santa wouldn't forget the Corleone's presents again...

'Don't look now, but I think we're being followed.'

"Since this is your first offense, I'll just take your name off my Christmas card list."

"…And your job, of course, is to enter through the chimney!"

'No more for him mate. He's driving.'

Frankenstein's snowman.