Christmas Swapper Gifts

Christmas tree exchange

"What do you think I can get for it on the blackboard market?"

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

'I'm sorry. I probably should have talked to to you before I took down our wedding photo and put up a picture of my jet.'

'The whole office is slack-jawed and drooling! It's either a zombie invasion or that smooth jazz you play on the intercom.'

Wha about trying another antivirus?

"How?"

'This sugar substitute is perfect except for one thing. It's salty.'

"I'd trade, but peanut butter sticks to my tongue stud."

'I'm coping.'

'...Then we thought, stuff Christmas, the world is full of naughty brats anyway.'

"I hear that march is coming in like a lineman and out like a lamb...I just wanted to be prepared."

'I think sugar substitutes are fattening. Have you noticed that people who use them are usually overweight?'

Keep your answers short and in the form of a question.

"This is so much better than book club."

'I'm doing a 'pet swap'.'

Person shovelling snow remembering the past

I'll trade you a gluten-Free Sandwich for lactose-free milk.

'Yes, I sold my soul...but what could I do? They held all the papers!'

Pets in a christmas tree

"I think the tags got switched on our presents."

'This time of year it's all that keeps me sane! I keep the magazine in the bathroom and I've about wore the ink off the pages!'

"Say - this electronic bourbon isn't bad."

"Got a book and a dumb tie from Teresa. What'd you get?"

"Dear Santa, I was very good and my brother was very naughty. So you can just give me his presents this year."

'...and a boiled potato,a pinch of garlic,stirring constantly and then...'

Santa, red in tooth and claw.

'Merry Christmas' Devoted angel praising Christmas

"Still stuck in the past there, Jim?"

'Hello. I'm Willy. Tommy and I have exchanged homes.'

'How do you like the dog I got for my wife?'