Christmas Pun Collectors Pillows

Santa never made it as a pirate: 'Yo ho ho! And a bottle of egg nog!'

Fist Bumper Cars

Pete would never forget the time he saw his very first nasal hare.

This man is an island.

A Creature WAS Stirring

How Romans give each other a high five...

Bell Hop

Racketeer

Accept cookies?

North Pole.

"Something that makes me look unfit for human consumption."

"Butt cracker"

Spiv

Doctor to man with baseball player and footbal player on feet: 'You have a bad case of athlete's foot.'

"I feel a lot of societal pressure to be happy."

Free Chimney Cleaning.

Mensa Applicants - Please Form an Orderly IQ.

'You have mistle-TOE.'

Rock 'n Rolls. It's like an ice cream truck, except they sell baked treats and play classic rock music. Rolling scones!

"Fleece Navidad!"

'Well normally I'd say there's other fish in the sea but in this case you're screwed.'

Mackerel on 34th Street

'We don't work on Christmas. You can celebrate the holidays with your family!'

Secret agents exchange Christmas greetings.

"You have an intense fear of long words. We call this condition Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia."

"How am I meant to be a lean mean killing machine with a name like 'Twinky'!"

'Frogs only! Violators will be toad!'

'Thank goodness I remembered to bring those spares!'

'Mince spy?'

"My scientific opinion? That is one big ass bacon."

Vampire batting with bats hanging off of bat.

"I suppose I could forget...for the right price!"

"You'll have to guide your own sleigh tonight - I'm nowhere near fully charged yet."

'Apparently the thieves were looking for the gold, frankincense and myrrh.'

"Why do you suppose they call it the green room?"