Holiday Pun Collector Pillows

"Something that makes me look unfit for human consumption."

Fist Bumper Cars

Ms. Rusmore

Pete would never forget the time he saw his very first nasal hare.

A Creature WAS Stirring

"How much did it cost to have your ears pierced?"

'Do we have any alligator pears?'

This man is an island.

"Actually, 'Loss of Limb' would be covered under your homeowners policy."

"The moment he told me he lived in a lighthouse, I knew he was a keeper."

'Wool ewe pullover yourself together.'

"Why do you call the new sheepdog Bra?"

The Bear Fax.

"Unplug and chill out."

Bell Hop

Artichoking victim

Racketeer

"Identity theft hotline? Yes, it's Dracula again. Millions of people are still stealing my identity on Halloween."

Accept cookies?

North Pole.

"Every five minutes it's 'feed me this, get me that' or something along those lines, I mean, I'm parrot-phrasing."

"It started with a few grey hares in my 20's and they kept showing up."

"Butt cracker"

Spiv

Doctor to man with baseball player and footbal player on feet: 'You have a bad case of athlete's foot.'

The First Black Friday

'I guess it's true what they say: spirits just don't mix'

"I feel a lot of societal pressure to be happy."

"Sorry, boss, but I'd like to take a leaf of absence."

Mensa Applicants - Please Form an Orderly IQ.

Baroquin' around the Christmas Tree

That's what I call Flour Power!