Holiday Pun Enthusiast Pillows

"Deck the hogs with boughs of holly. . ."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

Elfie Stick

Happy Holidays from Sanitary Claus!

Try me/try me/try me...

"I prefer to talk to Mrs. Claus. She doesn't care if I'm naughty or nice."

Evil elves trying to take advantage of Christmas tree fairies.

'I'm the ghost of Christmas future. I'm hammered, can we do this later...?'

"How could we be short? You had enough chocolate for everyone on our list!"

"The eggnog fountain is a bad idea."

"I think I preferred it before he became an equal-opportunity employer."

"I could get used to working remotely."

"And my client will be seeking significant damages for being mistakenly placed in the naughty column!"

"We can do this the easy way or we can do it the hard way ..."

'He's got your nose.'

'No sharing gifts! You get the Teddy Bear, he gets the bone.'

Father Christmas Painting Robins.

“He’s timid, very shy. I rescued him from some wacko who tried to steal Christmas.”

Snowman in hospital bed with snow globe I.V.

"All it will do is move crime to the South Pole."

'Maybe there is something in all this global warming stuff.'

A Creature WAS Stirring

"Could you help me fit nine days work into five and still see my family?"

"Then you just run a VLOOKUP against the Naughty column."

'We can always cook it one half at a time.'

Santa's Helpers

You Will Have a Merry Christmas. . . Resistance is Futile.

'Our trip to Florida was great until Rob took us driving with the dolphins.'

'Let's skip Mr. Arnold's house. He's the dog catcher.'

'I see adventure in your future. Yes. You're going to be a culinary adventure.'