Christmas Logistics Strategist Pillows

'I hate when they do this.'

Santa sits in front of computers with naughty data and nice data screens.

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

"Of course, I'm willing to negotiate. . ."

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

'Santa is the delivery man, I'm the CEO. Do you know what a CEO is, Lisa?'

"Let's say an immediate $10.00 allowance increase plus an annual 8% cost of living raise and I'll call him off."

"Sponsoring Christmas this year was an act of sheer marketing genius."

'Sure, I'll take a meeting - but only if you've been very, very good,'

"I'm looking for something that the recipient will be too embarrassed to regift."

Santa using the stock exchange to keep track of stocks and bonds being good or bad as well as going up or down

"OK...now they've gone too far! We're barely out of Halloween!"

"Yes, we've accepted late deliveries before... but 75 years!!!"

"You guys in Fulfillment have done wonders with your logistics formula."

Christmas escape plan

"For Christmas, Santa is bringing sales in at plan."

Gracie hatches a plan to trap Santa.

Santa's elevator

"We'd like to go somewhere that qualifies as a tax deduction."

"We're sending you on special assignment to analyze our shipping problems."

Outward bound/Homeward bound.

"Every holiday I disable his Internet. It keeps his mind off us."

"It's only weeks to Christmas. We have him right where we want him."

"Just how do you propose to pay for this giveaway?"

Under New Management.

That side up.

"I'm out! I got a job at another Santa Claus company!"

A green man sitting on a beach imagining selling toys online

"Santa's workshopping"

"I've got a great deal for us...if we're willing to sponsor Christmas."