Christmas Eve Relaxer T-Shirts

Bad Santa.

"Ahhh... close enough."

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

"He's declared it an area of natural beauty"

Typical...the weather is lousy all week...then on the weekend it's too sunny to work.

9-5, 5-9

After 9pm Harry Lomax slips quietly into cruise control.

"Hang on — I'll go take off my work body and put on my comfy body, too."

"Have you ever tried buying lots of stuff?"

'Waiter, we'd like to see the 'breakfast in bed menu' please.'

I am ready for my wine.

'Dad, how long has Mom been working for us?'

The wish lists kept coming, no matter how far he got from the office.

"I am ready for my wine."

"Now this is what I call a thanksgiving break."

The Modern Tourist

'What I like about Christmas is that wonderful feeling of freedom when it's all over.'

Cat taking it easy after spending the previous 23 hours sleeping.

'He likes a controlled burst of relaxation in the afternoon.'

"You've been listening to the mellow sound of Station EZZZ."

Principal sees a sign on faculty room: Happy Hour 3:00 - 4:30.

"Guess I'll spend the weekend putting that back on so I ca work it off again next week."

Legalization of marijuana

'I used to fly south - that was before hot tubs!'

'Christmas TV is repeating on me.'

Christmas Club Accounts: 'I'm afraid your account is having a crisis of faith...'

Sunday papers.

'Letter to my young self: what the hell were you thinking?"

'Are you going to sleep ALL DAY?' 'Since I'm talking to you right now, technically, no.'

'Taken out of context'

'I don't sit here all the time, Mom. Just June through August.'

"Well what else do you expect him to do at 5pm on a Friday?"

"I thought we might devote the weekend to personal hygiene."