Christmas Economist Gifts

"Just as I feared. Tariffs."

"What do you think I can get for it on the blackboard market?"

Tree in Dollar Shape.

'Ho,ho,ho, but can you be more specific?'

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

'Looks like no Christmas bonus this year.'

'I hate all holidays!'

"Of course, I'm willing to negotiate. . ."

Help! Have to pay back a big world bank loan.

All I want for Christmas is a modest recovery in the GDP, along with expectations that the year-over-year growth rate will significantly improve in 2014.'

"Oh, as long as he needs you, Santa's a great guy. But once things slow down and he wants a little vacation time with Mrs. C., it's 'goodbye North Pole, hello crappy temp job!'"

There IS a Santa Claus.

Santa using the stock exchange to keep track of stocks and bonds being good or bad as well as going up or down

"I'm looking for something that the recipient will be too embarrassed to regift."

'I'm an economist, but I try not to take myself too seriously.'

'Times are hard so these will have to be presents for Christmas and birthday combined!'

"I told the carol singers where to go in no uncertain terms, so that's saved us some money!"

"I just keep getting this urge to say 'Bah Humbug'!"

"We're trying to put the fun back into filing taxes."

'First I'd like to remind you of the true meaning of christmas - profits.'

'Stocks tumbled on the news Santa's credit rating was downgraded.'

'What I like about Christmas is that wonderful feeling of freedom when it's all over.'

'Despite what they sing, I don't think Christmas is really the season to be jolly...'

Akme National Bank: Our Assets Can Whip Your Assets.

"An aluminum baseball bat? Are you kidding? With the tariffs, my raw material costs are up 25%. How about some soybeans?"

"It was never about the presents - it's about the power."

'Don't try to kid me - that whole Rudolph thing is just a publicity stunt, isn't it?'

'... But, if he knows when I'm sleeping and when I'm awake, isn't that an infringement of my right to privacy?'

The annual Santa Claus stock rally.

'Frankly, I don't know what to believe. They say if it sounds too good to be true, it usually is.'

Today, Human Rights Watch sued a man named Santa Claus for discrimination against his employees by calling them 'dwarfs'.

"The new trees were too expensive, but I got a sweet deal on this used one!"