Holiday Capitalist Gifts

'First I'd like to remind you of the true meaning of christmas - profits.'

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

At the Museum

A Good Batch.

In his younger days Spock was quite the comedian.

The Vineyard

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

"This is nice … let’s not hop again tomorrow."

The Baby Walker

Easter Island legs

Or as I prefer to call it, the 'feel-good' factor.

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

Tourists

"If you ask me, wearing these things only makes them nervous."

Cutaway view of Ocean liner.

"I said I wanted to visit the Brandenburg Gate."

"Meet the scribe"

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

Woman uses a remote control to turn on the sunset.

Faster, Georges, faster!

Transylvanian backpackers.

Club Antisocial

Viking on beach with rubber ring shaped like viking ship.

"This year we decided to vacation on the 3rd rock."

"I'll wait a moment for everyone's energy drink to kick in."

"First aid box, puncture repair kit, mobile phone, energy bars and plenty of liquids; I think that's all eventualities covered..."

Wood Stain and Sun Tan Lotion

Meet Me Outside St. Louis

Sparkling Water

"For heaven's sake, Ogden, it's vacation time! Must you make your little lists even on vacation time?"

'Are we there yet?'

"Take this declaration of war and punch it up."