Holiday Gifts

"It's New York. It wants you back."

"I am not a workaholic. I just work to relax."

"I'm innocent. I've just never been able to pass up a good plea bargain."

'Hey weirdo, where do you think you're going?'

Terrible at Goodbyes

"It's time for us to go back to Sixty-fifth and Third, Richard."

"Save my spot?"

An email finds you

"I'll wait a moment for everyone's energy drink to kick in."

"It keeps me from looking at my phone every two seconds."

'I have this feeling we've forgotten something.'

Speedo Limit: 21 Years

Although in hindsight, maybe she said feed the cat and water the plants.

'Now, what's Italian for pizza?'

"Is everything O.K., sir? We noticed that you aren't constantly eating."

'How come they know where we are when we don't.'

'They never quite finished it - it was probably over budget.'

"I have a feeling we're walking in circles..." "I'm sure we're not! It's only the fog that looks the same everywhere..."

Sunblock - A Novel

"It was a terrible holiday, everything was so perfect we couldn't claim anything off our insurance."

'Arnie fell asleep under his beach chair.'

'These virtual-reality goggles are great! Right now, I'm sun-bathing in Tahiti...'

Salesman on Holiday

'When are you going to learn to relax?'

"First aid box, puncture repair kit, mobile phone, energy bars and plenty of liquids; I think that's all eventualities covered..."

"You're probably wondering how I got the nick name, kill-bot. Well, it's a funny story. . ."

"I have as many organisms on my tongue as she has in her probiotic, so why won't she let me lick her face."

"You'll be allowed to work from home two days a week... Saturday and Sunday."

'I'm working on one with text capabilities.'

You are now leaving Everything..."Well, now I've seen everything."

'Oh... and this one sounds like a huge wave!'

'We like to keep our supply chain short.'

"Check our website sir. It clearly says bed in breakfast."

'The meaning of life? sorry, I can only answer 'true or false' questions.'

'Have you got an Environmental Impact Statement for that castle, son?'