Holiday Ethicist Gifts

"I wonder which is more eco-friendly..."

'I hate all holidays!'

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

"Let's say an immediate $10.00 allowance increase plus an annual 8% cost of living raise and I'll call him off."

'Awww, isn't that nice: This one says 'PS: Love to Rudolph!''

'Well, the magic of Christmas is officially over, unless it includes waking up to a septic tank backup.'

Peace on Earth

'How do I know if you've been naughty or nice? CCTV!!'

DNA Xmas.

Christmas Present Wrapping Service.

"This year let's choose a Christmas card design that reflects the situation the country is in. Let's go for a design that says: Bah humbug!"

'No, I'm not writing to Santa, I'm writing a blog questioning the validity of Santa, since he has no web presence.'

'Sure, I'll take a meeting - but only if you've been very, very good,'

Santa using the stock exchange to keep track of stocks and bonds being good or bad as well as going up or down

Turkey going away for Christmas.

'He's determined not to enjoy himself this Christmas.'

'Times are hard so these will have to be presents for Christmas and birthday combined!'

Christmas escape plan

"I've never hated Christmas, just people."

What do you wish for next year?

'Does Santa have skype?. . . I'd like to get in some face time, so he puts me at the top of his list come December. . .'

'First I'd like to remind you of the true meaning of christmas - profits.'

"We'd like to go somewhere that qualifies as a tax deduction."

'I hate Christmas!'

'Are you nuts? -- Santa's secret identity is MY dad!'

Last week revisited. Uncle Mort, want to come over to my place for Thanksgiving? Can't. Sadie and I are having it at her place. How nice of you. What? I'd love to. What can I bring? Beautifully played, no? She'll kill me. I'd love to. How nice.

'Since when is good will towards men a crime?'

"Every holiday I disable his Internet. It keeps his mind off us."

Stuffed.

"Oh, yes, I've been good...relatively speaking!"

Santa's Workshop...St Nickolas Foundation...Philanthropy since the year 701.

'This is the fourth single woman to attack the Valentine's display this week.'

"For the last time, Dad, I don't want to be a dentist! I want to make toys like the other elves."

Although well intended, Santa's idea to take the elves to an amusement park was not well planned.

'Don't try to kid me - that whole Rudolph thing is just a publicity stunt, isn't it?'