Christmas Contrarian Gifts

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

Christmas - Let's get it over with.

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

"They're healthy? All this time, Mom said carrots and raisins were nature's candy!"

'An ebook! What are you reading?' 'Against technology: From the Luddites to neo-Luddism.'

"I just completely disagree with what you just said about America lacking focus."

Giant 'NO' with a small man holding a 'Yes',

I've got a problem – with me. Counseling costs extra. I always hated BMW owners. But one day I woke up and realized I drive a Saab. People who vacation in the Hamptons give me hives, but I've got a summer spot in Santa Cruz. I protested against big corporate oil companies … wearing a North Face jacket and Nike high tops! Don't you realize what I've become? I'm an upwardly mobile hippy! Death to the huppy. Hates fancy coffee drinks, loves soy milk.

"I told the carol singers where to go in no uncertain terms, so that's saved us some money!"

Opposing viewpoint.

"If Santa knows when you're sleeping and knows when you're awake...is he with the CIA?"

"His upper body knows it's winter. His legs are in denial."

"It was never about the presents - it's about the power."

'If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.'

"Just another silly programme this Christmas."

Book about the real meaning of Christmas is on sale.

Christmas Sale Special

"There are never sleigh tracks on our roof, or soot tracks on our carpet. Maybe you're just fake news?"

'He could never resist taking an opposing position on an old saying...'

Which Brain is Half Full and Which is Half Empty?

"I don't like hearing happy stories."

Baaa...humbug.

Naughty Or Nice? Didn't You Read My Blog, 'Playing By The Rules Is For Dummies?'

Welcome National Society of Skeptics. I don't believe we've met. I don't believe you don't believe we've met.

"Looks like we won't be needing you this year...we got our own gifts!"

Wallowing in elf pity...

'Somehow, it just doesn't seem the same!'

"Bah, humbug! It's not just for Christmas anymore."

"It's not 'too f**king early for Christmas' it's 'REALLY too f**king early for Christmas 26'."

Christmas: Let's get it over with.

'Visit Absent Father Christmas' grotto.'

We Know Its Xmas Crap But Hey People Buy It.

Santa and reindeers mounted as wall trophies

Christmas - Let's get it over with.

Santa’s Armory