Winter Contrarian Gifts

"His upper body knows it's winter. His legs are in denial."

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

"Ever notice how grateful people are when you present them with facts contrary to their beliefs?"

"They're healthy? All this time, Mom said carrots and raisins were nature's candy!"

'There, that should freak 'em out.'

"Dont believe anything those guys have told you. None of it. It's all B.S."

'Harrison, going against your better judgement has made us a lot of money...'

'The fourth quarter was no walk in the park. Especially for those who count on us to walk in the park.'

60 minutes I.Q. test - pick the counterfeit.

"It doesn't matter if the glass is half empty or half full if you have a case."

"I just completely disagree with what you just said about America lacking focus."

Burning the Other

Boy accidentally hits a man with a snowball

Alfred Hitchcock As A Kid

'He's always looking for an argument!'

"What if my bliss happens to be suing people?"

Whipping Cream

Everyone blames spring for Frosty's disappearance, but Micky 'The sno-cone dude' Peretti sure seems to know more than he's letting on.

"Don't you shush us, mister! We're famous consultants!"

Guru Shifted Thinking

Giant 'NO' with a small man holding a 'Yes',

I've got a problem – with me. Counseling costs extra. I always hated BMW owners. But one day I woke up and realized I drive a Saab. People who vacation in the Hamptons give me hives, but I've got a summer spot in Santa Cruz. I protested against big corporate oil companies … wearing a North Face jacket and Nike high tops! Don't you realize what I've become? I'm an upwardly mobile hippy! Death to the huppy. Hates fancy coffee drinks, loves soy milk.

'Care to gaze on the peaceful blanket of snow before I send the kids out?'

'If everyone's thinking outside the box a man who thinks inside the box is bound to have the advantage.'

The Devil screeming hate speech through a megaphone called "tolerance" at a person holding up a sign that says "free speech"

'I used to be a 'nut', but since I made millions in the market, I'm a 'contrarian'.'

Opposing viewpoint.

'I know we're supposed to flock together, but I want to see a different movie...'

'See you next spring, Morty.'

Half full head of hair, half empty head of hair.

'If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.'

ANARCHISTS' ASSOCIATION, 'All right! -- our Government grant just came through!'

"I don't like hearing happy stories."

Which Brain is Half Full and Which is Half Empty?

'He could never resist taking an opposing position on an old saying...'