Christmas Chef Gifts

Peeling sprouts.

Halloween may be a little different this year.

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

"Be sure and eat your frozen vegetables."

'Thanksgiving's no holiday for turkeys or the women who cook them.'

Turkey Autopsy

Get your no-turkey recipes here! Eco club. Go veggie for T-day! No thanks! I like turkey, sausage, stuffing, creamed onions with bacon and mincemeat pie. I figured as much. How can you tell? Gut check. That's my gut reaction, too.

It's beginning to smell a lot like Christmas

'I hope you all like stuffing.'

"When it comes to turkeys, Mom, you sure know your stuff-ing."

"I hear you helped make the stuffing. I like raisins."

"Actually, it wasn't so bad. One minute I was standing in line at the slaughterhouse...The next thing I knew, I was being basted in my own juices..."

"I stuffed it with things found around the house."

With all that Christmas baking left, that's a bad thing...(egg prices soar).

They discover fire and we spend all day cooking!

'This month I'll be cooked & my bones ripped apart in a wishing contest.'

'I know it's daring, but I always try one new recipe for Thanksgiving dinner.'

"For keyhole turkey carving we use a 12 mm port in each flank and third in the midline."

Making Christmas Pudding.

Santa Claus stuck in a chimney sitting in a hospital emergency room.

Blowing out the Christmas Pudding.

"Too much salt?! Hey, I put a lot of sweat and tears into making that Christmas Pudding!"

Christmas was the one time of year when Roger could take advantage of working in the genetic research laboratory.

Meat Poultry Fish. Genetically Modified Christmas Turkeys. Order Now. They inserted kangaroo DNA to make a product for stuffing, and octopus DNA so everybody gets a drumstick!

What will I do with it? It will never fit in the microwave.

Huge Christmas Pudding

I love Sprouts

Monday. Grab what you can for dinner. I'm shopping for Thanksgiving! Tuesday. I didn't pack your lunches. I'm fixing cranberry relish. Wednesday. Shoo! I'm making the pies! I know how the pilgrims felt. I'm starving!

'I vote we throw caution to the wind.'

Prosecco and Pudding

Christmas canape?

'I'll celebrate Christmas in a supermarket and you?'

'These are Trans-Fat free, right?'

"It's a fruitcake, not a catchall."

"We only have three and twenty black birds for the pie."