Christmas Chef Pillows

Peeling sprouts.

Halloween may be a little different this year.

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

"Be sure and eat your frozen vegetables."

'Thanksgiving's no holiday for turkeys or the women who cook them.'

Turkey Autopsy

It's beginning to smell a lot like Christmas

'I hope you all like stuffing.'

"When it comes to turkeys, Mom, you sure know your stuff-ing."

"I hear you helped make the stuffing. I like raisins."

"Actually, it wasn't so bad. One minute I was standing in line at the slaughterhouse...The next thing I knew, I was being basted in my own juices..."

"I stuffed it with things found around the house."

'This month I'll be cooked & my bones ripped apart in a wishing contest.'

"For keyhole turkey carving we use a 12 mm port in each flank and third in the midline."

Making Christmas Pudding.

'I know it's daring, but I always try one new recipe for Thanksgiving dinner.'

Santa Claus stuck in a chimney sitting in a hospital emergency room.

Christmas was the one time of year when Roger could take advantage of working in the genetic research laboratory.

Blowing out the Christmas Pudding.

"Too much salt?! Hey, I put a lot of sweat and tears into making that Christmas Pudding!"

What will I do with it? It will never fit in the microwave.

I love Sprouts

Huge Christmas Pudding

'I vote we throw caution to the wind.'

Prosecco and Pudding

'These are Trans-Fat free, right?'

"It's a fruitcake, not a catchall."

"We only have three and twenty black birds for the pie."

Christmas canape?

'I'll celebrate Christmas in a supermarket and you?'

"Apart from writing your new cookery book what else have you been up to?"