Christmas Cheer Critic Pillows

Father Christmas deciding whether the Tory Party are naughty or nice.

"The eggnog fountain is a bad idea."

'Looks like no Christmas bonus this year.'

Cat on guitar

Christmas Present Wrapping Service.

'Red for me, please.'

"In normal circumstances a full state pension would be an automatic..."

"You believed you were above everyone else, and deserved to look down on others. This is a clear case of shelf-elf-filling prophecy."

"Christmas day or nor, it was under the tree! How could you expect me not to peek?"

"I just keep getting this urge to say 'Bah Humbug'!"

'Looks like Santa left something for everyone.'

'Can you hurry up! There are others who wish to use the toilet!'

'Hey Larry! Jim here! Haven't seen you since way last Christmas! How the heck are ya, dude?'

'Despite what they sing, I don't think Christmas is really the season to be jolly...'

'What I like about Christmas is that wonderful feeling of freedom when it's all over.'

"And this is where the magic happens."

Christmas carol: 'Blow your budget stuff your trolley, tr-la-la-la-laaa-la-la-la-la...'

Today, Human Rights Watch sued a man named Santa Claus for discrimination against his employees by calling them 'dwarfs'.

Santa Sucks

'No government funding? No corporate support? Just what kind of ponzi scheme are you running?'

"You know I don't celebrate Valentines."

"My lawyer will present my case that I was definitely 'nice'."

Nobody knows what happened to Super Deer...Or do they?

Christmas Star

'Do you ever wonder where elves come from?'

"Maybe we should skip caroling this one."

"I think it's clear what the problem is."

Christmas Eva

'Sorry - I was just for Christmas.'

"First, I'll need to see an audited statement of revenue and expenses."

Amazon Drones

'Really, Mr. Claus, you can't work one night a year then expect to qualify for unemployment benefits.'

IRS - Our Holiday Message: "It's better to give than to deceive."

"Do you have plenty of trip insurance?"

Spama Claus.