Christmas Cheer Analyst Pillows

'No government funding? No corporate support? Just what kind of ponzi scheme are you running?'

"The eggnog fountain is a bad idea."

Reindeer

'Red for me, please.'

"In normal circumstances a full state pension would be an automatic..."

Cat on guitar

"You believed you were above everyone else, and deserved to look down on others. This is a clear case of shelf-elf-filling prophecy."

Father Christmas deciding whether the Tory Party are naughty or nice.

"Christmas day or nor, it was under the tree! How could you expect me not to peek?"

"It's a snow-grandad!"

'Looks like Santa left something for everyone.'

'Can you hurry up! There are others who wish to use the toilet!'

'On Dasher, on Dancer, on Prancer, and Vixen; On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen...wait, this can't be right.'

Nobody knows what happened to Super Deer...Or do they?

'Sorry - I was just for Christmas.'

"I'd like a gallon of milk and a couple dozen cookies."

Christmas Star

"Maybe we should skip caroling this one."

"I think it's clear what the problem is."

Christmas Eva

Amazon Drones

'Really, Mr. Claus, you can't work one night a year then expect to qualify for unemployment benefits.'

IRS - Our Holiday Message: "It's better to give than to deceive."

Santa tries to deliver to the home of the Old Woman Who Lived In a Shoe.

Dear Santa, Please bring us more jobs. -OBAMA P.S. I ate your cookie.

"...of course, you can always e-mail your list to my Ho-Ho-Hotmail account..."

'This is my lawyer to eye-witness your promises...'

"Do you have plenty of trip insurance?"

"A little peace and quiet."

Santa in hospital bed with intravenous milk and cookies in situ.

Harper talks about Christmas

"I'm filled with the holiday spirit. Single malt scotch."

"I'm telling you, I don't like the looks of this one bit..."

Girl Waiting for Santa Claus

'I've been really good this year, Santa. I only got two ASBOs.'